As my eyes scan the room with meticulous scrutiny, my mind wanders off to distant places, far beyond these four walls of brick and concrete. Free from the constrains of time and space, people, places and memories from all over replay themselves in my head with excruciating detail.
From bitter events, nasty words, acts of immense selfishness, to the fond memories, the happy moments and the wonderful joys of life: these things that used to affect me so much, no longer seem to do today.
They are getting increasingly smaller and smaller, and less significant with each passing day. It frightens me somewhat to say that certain things -like certain people- do not even matter to me anymore.
Yes, it's almost time to go.
I am delighted to have had the opportunity to meet up with (or will soon meet) friends new and old. Seeing long time friends, and relatives, and digging up tales and events from yesteryears has reminded me how gruesome and horrible my childhood and (especially) teenage years were.
I started to think about many things. What would have happened, how would life have turned out, and how different would I have been today had many of those difficult and traumatic events not have taken place.
But you know what? I'm glad they did. I'm glad they all did, for I cannot imagine leaving or being 21 without having gone through all that. I cannot imagine myself being so hopelessly fragile again. Nor do I want to be that foolish and naive once more.
I no longer want my life to be reset.
In terms of where I'm at in life, i am finally -after so long a time- pleased with everything. Which for me, is not an easy thing to say.
So this long, dark and rather emotional post ends on a high note: it's author bustling with positive vibes and a bucket load of hope. now ain't that wonderful?
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