Crystals

 
Memories.

People and places, faces and feelings —things of any and every sort spin through my head like the eternal spin of time’s preverbal wheel.

Back and forth, back and forth, again and again. Clockwork perfection. White, black, past, present… so many things are made so clear where I stand.


Epiphanies. More than anything else, this eight-month period is one that has never ceased in it’s indiscriminate and relentless pursuit in shedding light on as many avenues as there are minutes in a day.

Those who have always been there for me, in times of joy, in times of darkness. Those who were never there, but always were in times of dire need. Those who cared, those who went all out, those who were never calculative. Those who never flinched, those who’s only sole and overwhelming reason was that of love and friendship.

Then those who were the empty shells, the masks behind faces, the hollow vessels. Those who never once lifted a finger, those who never gave a passing thought, a second glance, nor a second chance. Those who couldn’t have cared less, the icy depths of their indifference… not unlike a cold, harsh death by drowning.


Uncertainty is all around me, yet strange as it is that so much can be this clear.

A string of words for this entangled state of flux reads: people, relationships, disappointment, frustration, hurt, appreciation, content, self-greed, choices, consequences, uncertainty, worry, despair, optimism, hope, hatred, anger, defeat, calm, denial, disconnect.


Take no relationship for granted, especially ones most important, most cherished, and most prized. But make no mistake and hesitate not at getting rid of the people who have been nothing more than their eloquent smiles.


A restructuring is called for, and by the time it is finished, a handful of relationships will have come to an end.

Thinking of the simpler times, the innocence, the careless freedom —all if only in song.